“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”
Anthony Robbins
OK we know it! Habits form the backbone of our everyday lives. Habits are woven through the fabric of life: how we greet each other in the morning, how we choose to interact, how we get out the door to work, to school, what we choose to do first when we sit at our desks, how we start our days, what we eat and at what time. The repeated actions of our day, week, month, year, some boring, some helpful, some almost invisible, are the stuff of day to day life.
That’s why it’s important, particularly as we design new chapters in career and life, to take some time out to look, observe and see how our habits are serving us or indeed, how they may be detrimental to our wellbeing, both mental and physical. A key change or transition in another area of our lives can also herald the possibility for some new habits to form. There’s always an upside in change, however challenging it may be.
At Disegno.life, we work with mid-career women who are redesigning their professional lives which sometimes can include a reshaping of many. We may look at the habit of how we spend their time, how they choose to spend their resources, who they habitually choose as company. Any no. of habits may come into focus as we reshape and rethink new chapters.
A little bit about our pesky habits – how did we get to have our very own individual set that both serve us and sometimes, trip us up. The academic concepts behind the subject of habits suggest that there is a habit loop, which we all experience and it goes something like this…
Cue – our brain triggers a behaviour.
Craving – the motivational force behind the habit (how does it make you feel).
Response – the actual habit (the daily glass of rioja, the chocolate fiesta post dinner – ok, I’ve named a couple of my own!!)
Reward – that upside feeling that the habit has delivered.
It’s great knowing a little bit about the habit loop but really the killer questions is…
How do we create some new habits which will serve us as we build our way forward towards a new career or even a new life design? Today, we eat crisps, tomorrow we will be vegan queens – could it be that simple? Well, yes and no.
Let’s start with the negative…
Forming new habits takes time. It’s a process of building up new cues, forming new pathways in your brain that take you down a different route of behaviour. A quick shift from one day to the next is unfortunately unlikely. Locking down new habits takes time and conscious commitment. Sorry!
But there are lots of reasons to feel sunny about the possibility of changing our habits (once we accept that it will take some work). Here are some tips from the habit experts.
- Make a list of the habits that you’d like to work on changing.
- Identify the cause – what’s the cue that is taking you into this habit?
- Remove the cause, if possible. Can you take away the cue and form a new cue?
- Replace the habit. New cue – new habit.
- Make simple changes. We like this and we are going to add our own tip here – keep it simple, start small. Get to know your habits and how you form them. Start with the smallest changes: floss one tooth, do one sit up, write up one post it with one action. Lean into it and celebrate when you succeed. Observe yourself in a new habit – what can you emulate from this new experience?
- Allow slip ups. Know that you won’t get it right. Remember this is a process of change which will take time. Be kind to yourself.
- Reward yourself. What can you give yourself to ensure your habits stick?
For example, you may want to re-orient part of your morning routine so you can start to reshape your professional plans – make one call/write one email. Break the habit of how you were using your time previously – create a new habit around your time. Can you take 10 mins to listen to your favourite music as a reward or maybe read one article you want to check out?
- Don’t give up. OK, we will say this again. Change is a process. It takes time. We need to build up new pathways in our brain which doesn’t happen from one day to the next. Once you have built up more awareness around your habits, had some success with some tiny changes, know that you are on your way and take pride in that. You are creating an updated version of you which will serve you better as you move from one life chapter to the next.
What habit do you observe which you would like to change?
Can you identify your cues?
How might you change your cues?
What might you give yourself as a reward?
Want to chat more about this? We are all about that redesign through the times of changes. Are you planning on a new work chapter or maybe even new life chapter, whatever that may be. We are always delighted to hear from you! Hop onto our calendar, book a call or drop us an email at – hello@disegno.life